


On the Road Again

by Never2bForgotten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: #suptober20, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Confessions, Day One: On the Road Again, Episode: s14e03 The Scar, Heart-to-Heart, Human Jack Kline, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 14, Suptober20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never2bForgotten/pseuds/Never2bForgotten
Summary: Just 24hrs after Episode 14x03- The Scar, Jack and Castiel head back on out the road away from the bunker. And, Castiel can't help but acknowledge the extent to which Jack is struggling to cope with all these recent changes.Written for #suptober20 - Day One: On the Road Again
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 22





	On the Road Again

It feels like months since Jack has had the opportunity to leave the bunker. Sure, there have been short excursions, trips to the local supermarket or into the neighbouring town. But this is the first time he’s crossed the state line with the knowledge the he will not be returning home- possibly for weeks. 

Now, it’s two am and they are almost a state over. Castiel sits behind the wheel of a blue Ford Fiesta, travelling a comfortable five miles per hour below the speed limit. They have been following the highway without any clear direction. The streetlights dance across the night, illuminating the occasional truck but, for the most part, the roads are dead. 

Jack’s not quite sure how he convinced Cas to leave the bunker so soon after Dean’s return. It’s only been a handful of days since Michael jumped ship. But he’s still out there, and it feels like All. Jack’s. Fault. 

Castiel sighs quietly as he turns off the highway. It’s been ages since they talked and, during the past hour the air has grown thick with unspoken sentiments. 

Moments later, Castiel pulls into an abandoned parking lot. Turning the key, the engine stills and the silence moves from thick to deafening. 

Outside the cold air whips around the vehicle. With the engine off, it is starting to chill inside too. Jack shudders, wishing he’d thought to grab his thicker jumper from the boot. 

Eventually, Castiel breaks the heavy silence between them. 

“Did I ever tell you I was human for a while?” Jack’s head whips across at his comment. 

Castiel chuckles slightly at Jack’s response, glancing down at the steering wheel. His seatbelt is still firmly in place and he is still yet to release his grip from the wheel. “It was 2013 and I made a mistake by trusting someone I barely knew.” Castiel sighs, running a hand through his hair, the other dropping to his lap. “I thought I was doing the right thing, saving Heaven, but instead Metatron took my grace and all the Angels fell.”

“I know, I should of told you earlier but…” Castiel waves his hand in the air and gups and the end of that sentence appears obvious to Jack. As always, it comes back to Dean. 

“It’s ok” Jack responds quietly, picking at a loose thread on Castiel’s trenchcoat. Cas offered it to Jack the last time they stopped for gas, in the hopes that he would use it as a blanket and eventually drift into a peaceful sleep.

After a moment, Jack speaks again “What did you do?” 

Castiel softly smiles at his question, “I got a job at an old Gas and Sip near to the bunker. I was a sale’s associate and, to be honest, I enjoyed working there. I had responsibilities, made some friends and, for the first time in a very long time, it didn’t feel as though the weight of the world was on my shoulders.” 

Jack nods slowly, a small smile crossing his face before the concern and upset returns. 

Castiel continues softly, “When I first lost my powers I was devastated. And when I had to leave the bunker it felt like I was nothing without my grace.”

“Sam and Dean kicked you out?” Jack exclaimed, sitting upright in his seat, a frown forming on his face. 

“It was complicated Jack,” Castiel responds, “Sam was extremely unwell and my presence put him in danger”. Sighing softly again, Castiel tries, and fails, to capture Jack’s gaze. “I don’t think Dean felt like he has much of a choice.” 

Castiel notes that they have unintendedly drifted from the conversation he had planned to have tonight. Before Jack can follow with further queries, Cas changes the subject. 

“Jack, I found the letter you wrote to us” Castiel states and Jack tenses further at the comment. “Me, Sam and Mary know losing your grace has been tough on you. And I think, after these past few months, you know that your worth isn’t determined by your grace and from your powers but, from your actions and your treatment of others.”

In the early days Jack had bounced between fury and terror. Between himself and Sam they thought that they had unpicked that Jack felt angry for allowing himself to trust Lucifer and for struggling to adapt to a human life. And his terror came from the looming threat of Michael. 

Castiel runs a hand through his hair before rubbing at his eyes. “You’ve been doing well these past few weeks, working with Bobby, learning to fight and overcoming the challenges thrown at you. And I’m just concerned that you were planning to run.” 

Castiel faces Jack to find that he’s paled and frozen, like a deer in the headlights. 

“Or not planning” Castiel concludes, “we are running right now aren’t we Jack?”. In the day since the Winchester’s have returned from visiting Jody and chasing Dark Kaia, Jack has shifted from being ecstatic about having the three of them back together, to packing a bag midway through dinner and begging Cas for them to leave and head out hunting that night.

Jack doesn’t move or acknowledge that he’s even heard the question so Castiel presses onwards. “Jack, I can’t make you talk to me, but I would really like to know what is going on.” 

Instead of elaborating, Jack shifts nervously in his seat. After another five minutes of heavy silence, asides from the occasional cough from Jack, Castiel starts to wonder if he will ever get a real explanation for Jacks sudden overwhelming desire to leave the bunker behind.

Timidly, and with a shaky breath, Jack finally replies “I feel guilty about how much I made you suffer.” 

Castiel’s brows furrow, his head dipping to the side “Jack?”

The nephilim takes another shaky breath. “I didn’t catch on the first-time round, when you were dead, and Dean was here. I thought it was just about me and that he begun to trust me and see the good in me because I might have brought you back” Jacks voice is speeding up now, his words beginning 

Taking a breath, the words tumble from Jacks month “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” 

Again a heavy silence sits between them. This isn’t what he was expecting.

Castiel turns to face Jack “Sam and Dean are my family Jack, you know that as well as-“

Jack abruptly cuts Castiel off “But, it’s more than that with Dean isn’t it”

Cas’ breath hitches at the question. He’s been close on the line of this conversation with Sam many a time. But even then, he’s never been asked the question directly, or spoken the words out loud beforehand. 

“I’ve been in love with Dean for years now” 

Jack nods slowly, he’s still picking the thread on Castiel’s coat collar, his gaze fixed on the flicking welcome sign situated on a neighbouring store. And Castiel doesn’t push, waiting for Jack to respond. 

“I think he’s in love with you too.” 

Castiel lets out a breath a Jack’s conclusion. He’s tried desperately not to think about the ‘what ifs’ that are tied to Dean.

Unsure of how to respond, Castiel exhales softly. “You know, I don’t blame you for Michael and neither does Dean. Or Sam, or anyone else in the bunker” 

“I do” Jack retorts, “I should of stopped him, I could of stopped him and, I didn’t.” 

They’ve had this conversation many times before. They have both discussed and many times Jack has quietly concluded that there wasn’t much of a chance or a good opportunity for him to successfully stand against Michael. This time, Castiel decides to take a new approach. 

“Do my feelings towards Dean change things, Jack?” 

Now Jack’s eyebrows furrow and his gaze drops in thought as he considers the question. 

“No” Jack retorts but tears are beginning to pool at the corners of his eyes and Castiel waits. And he doesn’t have to wait long.

“I was horrible. I suggested that we outright murder Michael even if that meant harming Dean, killing Dean. And now you have Dean back and I’ve forced you to drive miles away with me.” Jack finally turns, capturing Castiel’s gaze for the first time. “You are in love with him, Sam and Dean are your family and you fought for him and I didn’t. I don’t fit. I don’t deserve to fit. And maybe if I get away and help someone else-“

“Jack,” Castiel whispers, breaking his confession, “we both know those thoughts were grounded in fear, a rational fear from what I have seen of the apocalypse world. But I need you to know that regardless of my relationship with Dean, whether we get, I don’t know- married or not, you will always be my kid and I will always be here for you.”

Jack’s breath hitches again, his tears are falling freely now. 

Castiel grabs Jack’s hand, squeezing it softy. “There is nothing you could do, no decision you could make that would lead to me abandoning you. You’re my family too, Jack, and I know you. I know how much you care, how hard you try to make the world a better place and I am so proud of you.” 

As Jack’s sobs increase, Castiel undoes his seatbelt and exits swiftly from the car door. He can feel Jack’s eyes upon him, following his every move. “Come on.” 

Jack slowly unclips his own seatbelt as is caught up in the wind as he steps out under the faded streetlight. At some point, Jack hears his name. Then he felt strong arms wrap around him and he melts into Castiel’s hold. Then words finally come with unexpected ease. Jack pulls away just enough to look into Castiel’s eyes. “I love you,” he whispers with the weight of a hundred unspoken affections packed into it. 

Castiel grasped Jack more tightly as those three small words wash over him. It seems incomprehensible that a simple phrase can penetrate so deeply. “I love you too, Jack” Castiel returns.

They embrace under Jack begins to shudder against the wind and pulls away. Castiel smiles softly before wiping a stray tear from his eye, ruffling Jack’s hair and returning back to the other side of the vehicle. 

Soon, they are back on the open highway and the world feels brighter. 

“You know,” Castiel expresses, his eyes darting quickly from the road to Jack’s face and back, “you can’t run from Dean forever, perhaps it will do you good to talk about how you are feeling?” 

“You want me to tell him I suggested we kill him and that you are in love with him?” Castiel can hear Jack’s frown in the tone of his voice. 

“Well, I’ld really rather you didn’t tell him the later” Cas chuckles, before his tone turns serious again “but I think you should talk to him about Michael when you are ready. Until then, we have an open road ahead of us.”

Castiel spots Jack’s small nod of acknowledgement in the mirror. 

The rest of the journey is filled with a comfortable silence. Jack falls asleep with his head pressed against the window as the dawn breaks.


End file.
